Tag Archives: humor

Now Playing: ‘Big Man Japan’ trades zero for hero

29 Jun

 

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 Giant monsters tromping around wrecking cities sounds like alot more fun than it actually is. I’ve been listening to nearly every beleagured friend who has seen the new Transformers movie complain; ‘it’s just giant things punching each other–that’s it!’ Well, duh. In their case, though, I have the perfect remedy; Hitoshi Matsumoto’s Dai Niiponjin, or the english translation, Big Man Japan. Continue reading

10 Summers, 20 Magnificently Stupid Movies

24 Jun

 peeing

June 23rd, 2009

Well, it’s finally here. Michael Bay’s Transformers: Louder, Dumber and more Racist has hit the multiplexes and every male between 10 and 24 has penciled it into his agenda right between “get a Slurpee and some Chalupas” and “play X-Box”. The best hope at this point is that it will be ‘good-bad’,  like the glorious Highlander II: The Quickening.

However, the critics haven’t been nice at all, and if the picture they paint is accurate, nor should they. When Roger Ebert identifies the best scene in your movie as involving “a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine” and calls the rest of it “a horrible experience of unbearable length” it’s probably safe to say there are problems. And Roger liked the first movie! The best of these reviews is over at i09 and gives me hope that it will be memorable even if it isn’t good. Continue reading

Scene Selection: Attack of the Meatloaf Bear!

20 Jun

 

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June 20th,2009-

This is something new I’m trying at Cinematropolis. Nothing fancy, just a series of stills capturing a scene from film history. I’m heading out tomorrow to join some friends camping in Virginia and I thought it apropriate to begin then with one of the more haunting sequences from my childhood movie-watching. In 1979 director John Frankenheimer made a film called Prophecy (not the Chris Walken angel war thingee) based off a novel by the author of The Omen.  It was an environmental knee-jerk thriller with Robert Foxworth looking like Bob Ross (please don’t cut down the happy little trees), Talia Share as his wife, and Armand Assante….as a Native American. This motley crew discover mercury poisoning in the water in New England and its aberrant effects on the local wildlife. The film’s heavy is a result of the mercury mutation; an enraged mother bruin that looks like what would happen if you threw Gentle Ben and a meatloaf into the Brundle Machine and hit ‘deepfry’.  Continue reading